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Spoiler For: Season 4 of Insecure
Dear Santa,
We know you watch TV. It’s great bonding for you and the Mrs. What else do you do the other 364 days a year? We know you’re not doing yoga. 2020 wasn’t the easiest year to stay on your nice list, but bingeing on some small screen bedtime stories has definitely kept us out of trouble. We’re not asking for much for Christmas 2020, just our deepest TV desires! Come on, Papa Claus, we know you’re about that Netflix n’ Chill!
Susannah’s List
1. A season 3 of What We Do in the Shadows that stays bloody good
2. Infinite seasons of Joss Whedon’s Firefly to capture its boundless possibility
3. Erasing the character of man-turd Mark in season 1 and 2 of Parks and Recreation from the record
4. A third season yesterday of Atlanta
5. For Amazon’s The Lord of the Rings prequel tv series to not be a hyped-up monster of text-abandoning bullshit magic madness (Same for Wheel of Time please.)
6. 6% more jokes in the writers’ room for Season 3 of HBO Max’s inventive but occasionally too mad heavy Doom Patrol
7. A way more satisfying ending for Cordelia Chase in the Buffyverse on Angel
8. For people to stop talking about The Mandelorian. You’re like my mom trying to set me up with somebody at church. Stahp. I’ll do it eventually. Maybe.
9. Craig Robinson episode arcs on every single situational comedy show
10. A personalized assessment and soul-enriching therapy session with every member of the Netflix Queer Eye team. $250 is too rich for my blood, but access your truth with my beloved Bobby here
11. A more fun-twisty, non-normy ending for Liz Lemon’s 30 Rock love life
12. More seasons of HarmonQuest and more overt #MeToo apologies overall. (Yes, this is all one wish; are you doubting Santa?)
*Stocking Stuffer: Many more fully queer seasons of MTV’s Are You the One?
Hannah’s List
13. A new costume director for season 2 of Emily in Paris
14. To eat Sam's Chili on Better Things and sit in her radd living room and tell her she's my mom-inspiration
15. A magic device that tells me the answer to every Unsolved Mystery episode
16. Nicole Kidman’s coat collection from The Undoing or all Elizabeth Harmon's outfits from The Queens Gambit
17. Sound proof headphones for when 3 year old watches Cocomelon
18. More Berlin episodes on House Hunters International to daydream about my future move OR never having to hear the word "man-cave" again
19. The executive at Hulu who axed High Fidelity to get visited by the three ghosts of spiteful Christmas to see the error of their ways
21. Endless true crime documentaries that leave me saying “well, that was fucked up.”
22. Season 3 of the following: MindHunter, My Brilliant Friend, and Derry Girls (will settle for another GBBO crossover)
23. Molly and Andrew to get back together on Insecure. I just want her to be happy
24. The highest ratings for Biden’s Inauguration
Joint Ask for 25: We know this one is a big one and would probably take a miracle so maybe you could ask baby Jesus to help you. But this year has been really hard for everyone and all we really want is world peace--but, could you redo Season 8 of Game of Thrones . . .?
Pretty pleaseeeeeee?! A bearded home-invading fairy tale always pays his debts, right?
Thanks big guy. We’ve always believed in the impossible.
Love and cookies and pain to our enemies,
Hannah and Susannah
The Tellyfish Team
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