RANKING
RuPaul calls it your “inner saboteur”—the perennial voice of perfectionism and self-doubt that seduces you to become the worst version of yourself. When laid bare in story, masochism counterintuitively coaxes me into greater self-reflection and acceptance. While I don’t have to take pleasure in my own pain (it’s an elective process), I can giddily enjoy the pain these polluted protagonists self-promote.
And whose fault is that, Chidi?
So, raise a glass to some of my top masochists on tv.
They’re layered, they’re exciting, they love to hate to fail to love themselves so good. Thank you, self-abnegation squad.
No one can punish you better than you. You make for crunchy, motive slinging tv.
Okay enough compliments. You’re usually bad at taking those. You get all weird.
Masochist List:
Search Party - Full Cast
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt - Titus Andromedon
Insecure - Molly
Bojack Horseman - Bojack
RuPaul's Drag Race - Phi Phi O'Hara
Game of Thrones - Jamie Lannister (Fight me: I loved his ending--getting crushed by love.)
Big Little Lies - Celeste Wright
Shrill - Full Cast
Breaking Bad - Walter White
Glee - Terri (Season one--faking a baby bump in your own marriage??)
30 Rock - Jonathan
Sex and the City - Carrie Bradshaw (La douleur exquise (exquisite pain) of her love for Big.)
Friends - Chandler Bing
The Office - Michael Scott (Delusional narcissism from masochism. I mean, his relationship with Jan alone.)
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia - The Full Gang. (Special shout out to Sweet Dee.)
Arrested Development - Tobias Fünke
Buffy the Vampire Slayer - Buffy
Amy Schumer (who let 12 Angry Men Inside [of] Amy Schumer to discuss her bangability.)
The Good Place - Chidi Anagonye
Whose Line is it Anyway? - Colin Mochrie (as self)
Degrassi, the Next Generation - Emma
How I Met Your Mother - Barney
That 70’s Show - Hyde
Rick and Morty - Jerry
Bridgerton - Simon, Duke of Hastings
Parks and Recreation - Jerry/Gary/Terry Gergich
The Life & Times of Tim - Tim
Orange is the New Black - Taystee, a.k.a. Tasha Jefferson
Desperate Housewives - Bree Van de Kamp
House - Dr. Gregory House
Thanks again to the myriad masochists sucking out their own souls onstage. You’re the worst, which makes you the best. The cage you build for yourself reminds me to unlock my own. NOW GO THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU DID! ;)
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