For All The Boys I Loved...Who Openly Hated on Girls!
REC
Spoilers For: Girls and Boy Girls (Dave)
Flip the book above to see the substitutions for the rec-ipe
Hey were you a guy in your mid-twenties in the 2010s? Did you complain about the show Girls on HBO, especially the polarizing main character Hannah? Did your eyes roll every time your girlfriend watched it? Did you also secretly wish that there was a show about four dude friends trying to make it in the world, dealing with rejection and success in both their dating life and careers, all while coming back to the central theme that is the power of friendship? But like definitely like for straight guys who like jokes about their dicks?
GOOD NEWS!!!
FX made that show! It’s called Dave and it has all those things mentioned above and more. So how does one make this substitute dish that takes out all the icky uncomfortable things like periods and Marnie getting some ATM and replaces it with fun things like gum stuck in someone’s ass hair? Fear not, I have the rec-ipe!
Ingredients:
1 Raw main character that is completely self-absorbed and whose drive to further their own ambitions sometimes causes them to be a bitch/bastard of a friend. In Girls, we have Wanna-Be-Writer Hannah but for Dave, you can use Wanna-Be-Rapper Dave! (Both are found in Deli Section btw)
3 Diced friends whose main purpose is to fuel storylines for the main character/creator of the show but sometimes if they’re lucky can get a bottle episode. For this recipe I went with:
Control-Freak Marnie = Business-Man Mike
Tells-It-Like-Is Shoshanna = Fuck-All-of-You Elz
Scene-Stealing Jessa = Show-Stealing GaTA
1 Slab of a major city that for 99% the hustle will never end. Not until you die.
A sprinkling of dick jokes instead of vagina jokes.
1 Package of concerned but lovable parents.
A Gallon of thoughts you 100% have had but would never, ever, ever say out loud.
Half a dozen moments where the comedy flavor is taken over by a bittersweet tasting of fruit of truths about mental health
Directions:
Preheat your television and wait about 8 years.
Take all the ingredients above and throw them in a bowl and whisk vigorously, about the speed of a good wank in the Fuck Me Silly 3.
Pour contents out in an FXX molding sheet. The old receipt calls for HBO. Don’t worry, both allow for nudity and plenty of foul language.
Stick this baby in the television and set a timer for about 10 episodes!
After it’s ready, shove it in your mouth before it even cools so it burns the roof of your mouth. Eat the entire thing, not sharing with anyone, and then feel extremely guilty about binging some much content in such a short amount of time and then immediately feel hungry for more about 2 days later.
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