On the Fast Track to Love?
RECAP
Spoilers for: Season Finale!
I’m not big into gambling. I prefer being able to see my money… usually in sandwich form.
To be good at gambling, you either have to be incredibly lucky or highly skilled when placing your bets. Luck may be a lady, but it ain’t this lady. I can’t count cards and I pick Super Bowl teams based on what city has the best sandwich. (Go Eagles!)
I do, however, enjoy a day at the races— mint juleps, funny horse names, and oh yeah, the sandwiches! If there was ever a way I could combine my love of television and gambling, I’d either become a high roller or end up sleeping under a bridge.
Take my current obsession: Love is Blind season 2.
Premise: Hot singles agree to an experiment where they go on dates with individuals they will never see unless they propose marriage. Asking the question is love blind? Or is dopamine a helluva a drug and Netflix not afraid of lawsuits?
S1 Fans know this show is chalked full of the best things reality tv has to offer: messy love triangles and fame whores.
So let’s pretend this fever dream idea is real and throw me in a sundress, toss on a floppy hat, and let’s see the beauties before the race begins and place our bets on who ends up making it to that photo finish.
Danielle and Nick
Horse Name: Sweats McGee
Early on this stallion was leading the pact with confidence. However, things seemed pretty rocky before ever leaving Mexico. The finale leading up to the big race has this one looking washed out. Still, they both seem riddled with insecurities which is always a precursor to making rash decisions. Could it be the heat or is this one getting cold feet…er hooves?
Betting Odds: 1/2
Shake and Deeps
Horse Name: Sex with my Aunt
Shake and Deeps seem to be the only couple that has any real compatibility, but Shake can’t seem to shake the faux incest vibe. He is a playboy but maybe he realizes he’s got a perfect trifecta on his hands: beauty, brains, and family approval!
Betting Odds: 8/5
Mallory and Sal
Horse Name: Sallory
This contender seemed a Rank and off the pace early on. Sal could sense Mallory’s hesitation right from the start when he caught her chatting up Jarrett in Mexico. However, she seemed to soften back in Chicago (probably cause of that silky smooth voice), and now they may take the grand prize.
Betting Odds: 7/2
Jerrette and Iyanna
Horse Name: Second Choice
Jarrette started warm-up season unsure of who to choose: Iyanna or Mallory. But when he lost the preliminary race with Mallory and she turned him down in the pods, the decision seemed made for him. Would Iyanna accept being Jarrette’s s runner-up? Their chemistry was undeniable throughout the rest of the season so it may be enough to get them down the aisle.
Betting Odds: 2/5
Natalie and Shayne
Horse Name: Mistaken Identity
Shayne is the result of Gary Busey wishing to be handsome and young again. Oh, and he seems like a total douche canoe, which is why it’s surprising he had both Natalie and Shaina vying for his attention. Ultimately Natalie took the “prize” but viewers seemed sure they would fall apart IRL. Strangely enough, they seemed well-matched and had the best chemistry of the bunch. Could this wild card have turned into a sure bet?
Betting Odds: 4/1
Placing My Bets
I reviewed all the entries carefully and weighed the odds.
My picks: Sweats McGee and Second Chances show. Mistaken Identity wins.
These are the couples I had pegged to make it down the aisle while I assumed Shake would bail on Deeps and Mallory would have Sal singing the blues.
The Race
In the first round, Nick and Danielle say "I Do!" Turns out it was just a hot day in Chicago. Next up, Deeps looking like a goddamn Queen turns Shake down and decides to choose herself. You go, Girl! Sal gets the jitters and wants to go back to taking things slow (what, someone with a brain?!) Jarrette and Iyanna made it to the homestretch and jumped the boom! Natalie and Shayne had everyone nervous as they were down to the wire but ultimately their blowout fight the night before had Natalie coming to her senses.
How did I fair? Well I got 2 out of 3 right BUT putting all my money on Mistaken Identity was a big Mistake! Looks like it won't be steak and champagne for dinner for this gal! Oh well, next time I'll stick to just being a spectator and enjoying my sandwich.
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